Am I Doing Enough? The Never-Ending Mom Question.

Why is it that, as women, we always seem to find a way to feel like we’re not enough? In work, relationships, friendships, our bodies, motherhood—you name it, we question ourselves about it. And let’s be honest, the expectations we set for ourselves? Astronomically higher than the ones we set for our friends. We’d never tell them half the stuff we tell ourselves.

And don’t even get me started on the standards we set (or don’t set) for our romantic partners. I think many of us have been guilty of lowering the bar so far that it’s practically underground. But that’s a whole other blog post. Let’s park that drama and zoom in on motherhood for a sec.

Because here it is—the age-old, soul-searching question that haunts every mom at some point: Am I doing the right thing?

Did she eat enough fruits and veggies today? Did she get enough protein? Did I pay enough attention to her? Did we read books? Was I present enough? Did I stimulate her mind while also keeping screen time under 7 minutes? I could write a whole post just listing these questions, but I’ll spare you (and myself) for now.

Lately, the big question I keep circling back to is: Did I make the right choice by becoming a stay-at-home mom?

It’s always been my dream job, truly. I wanted to be there for all the firsts—first rollover, first crawl, first steps, first words. I wanted to be the mom cheering at the Halloween parade, crying at the Mother’s Day tea, and clapping wildly at the random Tuesday morning chorus concert.

But sometimes I wonder—are those things more important to her, or to me?

Am I putting my needs ahead of hers without realizing it?

Right now, she’s not getting much social interaction with kids her age. Her current best friend? Our dog. She literally runs around the house with toys hanging out of her mouth because that’s what he does. Cute? Absolutely. Concerning? Slightly.

There are so many benefits to daycare, and lately, I’ve started to worry that she’s missing out. But here’s the thing—our decision for me to stay home wasn’t just a dream, it was also financial. The cost of daycare would basically swallow up my entire paycheck. So we made the choice that made the most sense for our family.

And I really do try to make the most of our days. We have a routine. We break out the musical instruments and sing songs like we’re trying out for Baby Broadway. We read books for 15-20 minutes. We have outside play. We hit up library story time once a week. I’m putting in the effort.

But still…Is it enough?

Most of the women in my social circle grew up with stay-at-home moms. Back then, it was more common—and definitely a privilege. But now, those same women are working moms. Times have changed, and in most families, that second income isn’t just helpful—it’s necessary.

And honestly? If I made more money, I’d definitly be working too.

I guess no matter what choice we make as moms, we’re always wondering if it was the right one. If I were a working mom right now, I’d probably be writing this same post from the other side, worrying about all the moments I was missing.

So maybe the real answer is this: We’re all doing our best. And no matter which path we take, we’ll always have that little voice asking, "Am I doing enough?"

But maybe… just maybe… we already are.

After all, the grass always looks greener on the other side, right?